An "Un-Valentine's Day" Musing

When people say "opposites attract", they aren't kidding.

You laugh at 1980's frat boy movies and stupid horror flicks.
My favorite afternoon would be cozying up to a Cary Grant movie or historical romance.

Your perfect meal involves a 72 oz. steak and a ride in an ambulance to the hospital after consuming that and three pounds of chili cheese fries and a chocolate shake.
I would give anything to eat lobster and champagne every day.

Dressing up for you involves a clean hawaiian shirt and jeans.
For me, a little black dress and hose and kitten heels...and a velvet or rhinestone clutch.

Give me an Italian aria, or some smooth blues, any day.
But your heavy-screaming-metal pierces my eardrums.

You covet, collect, and catalog books;  while i'm reading three or four at the same time just to get wrapped up in the wonderful stories.

You like 12 months of sun.
I'm only happy in the rain.

Your favorite vacation involves a tent or a camper and driving 8 miles out of the way to visit the biggest ball of string.
My dream is Paris....in the spring.  Or Ireland...on the misty moors.   Or Tuscany...during the grape harvest season.

And not unlike the magnetic attraction that brought us together....
If you push me just a teeny bit more, I might flip.

....and the positive becomes a negative.

Slinky...Slinky

My grandson was visiting the other day.  Yes, he plays with his mother's IPhone.  Yes, he plays with all the latest toys and gadgets his parents will let near him.  But I realized something that day.  Whenever he comes over, he always gravitates to the most simplest of toys we have at our house.  He will choose the most basic of toys, usually a ball, and then have at it.  The other day it was a slinky; and by his reaction you would have thought it was the most amazing toy ever.  EVER.

Where have all the old toys gone?  Where have all the slinkys gone?  Now in order not to appear old, cranky and unyielding to change - i DO have modern toys, games and amenities in my house.  After all, I still have three teenagers living here and I certainly want my life to be stress free.  "Stress free" translates here to not having to hear constant whining about why we don't have every single new gadget that comes out.  "Mooooom!  All my friends have one and you are the ONLY mom who won't get one and don't you want me to be happy???".

But I miss the old toys.  I miss the balls and the slinkys and the whistles and jacks and hulu hoops and kites and crayons and chalk.  I miss the imagination they inspired.  I miss the interaction they inspired.  I miss the simplicity they inspired.  I miss toys.

For now, I watch my grandson play.  For now, I watch the innocence of a young boy enjoying a totally useless piece of spiraled plastic going boing boing boing down my staircase.  Slinky on, sweetie.  Slinky on.

Blowing in the wind.

A tumbleweed blew across the road this morning...and for a brief moment, I felt my eyes sting with tears.  I wanted to get out of the car and roll into a ball and follow it down the road.  No worries...no responsibilities...no need to eat or drink or sleep...no need to deal with the crap that life throws at you.  Just the neverending pleasure of going where the wind blows.

Then a song came on the radio that reminded me of my children...and it pulled me back to reality and the life I lead right now.

I will have to ease on down the road some other day.  Good day sweet tumbleweed.  Happy journey.

Glee (noun): open delight or pleasure

There have been three recent teen deaths in our community.  Two have been proven suicides and the last is undetermined, but most likely, alcohol related.  Very sad...very sad indeed.  I can't imagine how their families are dealing with the pain.  I feel it deeply.  I have five children of my own; three are still teens living at home.

So I was thinking this past week on why I should be grateful for my own teenagers...why I should be thankful that they are who they are.  At first, I thought this could be tough.  There are days where I could just get in the car and drive away from the madness.  Other days, I feel like throwing them all in the trunk and driving them to some far away desert, with no water or electricity or toilet facilities.  But then, somewhere in my brain (and heart) a switch turned on....and I was enlightened.

My 16 year old daughter loves the show "Glee".  Did I say "loves"?  I meant LOVES!  It doesn't help that she has fallen for two of the actors; Chris Colfer and Max Adler.  She is extremely artistic and considers a perfect day is when I leave her alone so she can draw, create, and play games on her laptop, all while watching 12 hours of Glee episodes.  She is not interested in alcohol, drugs, or parties.  How darn lucky am I??

My 14 year old son plays football, loves to come home after school and considers the perfect weekend as being one where I leave him alone to play games on the Playstation and watch the Patriots kick butt.  That's it.  He is still shy, loves to eat, loves to be home and is not interested in drugs, alcohol, parties, girls or dating (yet!).  How many parents can say that?

I also have a 13 year old daughter.  She will be someone to watch as she is the social butterfly.  Still a bit shy but makes friends easily, is into fashion and makeup, loves her family, loves her animals and although she likes boys, is not "into" dating them (yet!).  She also has found a common interest with her sister in the show "Glee".  I have to give a shout out to "Glee" as they have brought my girls together again and it warms this mother's heart to hear them in each others rooms either discussing the next episode or watching past ones.  Thank you...thank you...THANK YOU!

When I think back on this last week, with the tragedies and funerals, I was originally sad and extremely depressed about life.  Then I found my soul.  I picked up my children from school and listened to them laughing and I was born again.  My kids were safe...and good...and gleeful.

I am rich beyond words.  I am gleeful myself.

A whale of a good time.

Recently in a large city in Australia, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.  It said, “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)

They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.

They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.

They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia.

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.

They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.

They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist.

If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex?  Just look at them … where is IT?

Therefore, they don’t have kids either.

Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me:

I want to be a whale.

P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a glass of wine with my friends.

(My personal comment to this story?  Yeah.  Hell yeah.  HELL FREAKING YEAH.)

Open Season

Hibernation is over at the zoo....well it's actually been over since spring has "sprung".  Sometimes the zookeeper goes on vacation....sometimes just her brain or mind or heart or soul goes along as well.

But the zoo is once again open.  The animals have awoken from their winter slumber and are again causing panic and mayhem around here.  Well that's not actually true.  They've been causing mayhem all winter but like a tree in the forest, let me ask you:  If the zookeeper doesn't write about it, does it really happen?

I savor my bad memory.

Welcome back.  It's open season on the wild things that surround me.  Oh it's on kiddos...it's so on!

Ode To A Dancer.

My 24 year old is trying to find her way in the world....hard enough for the rest of us as adults; even harder when you are just starting.  I woke up this morning to this song playing on the radio.  As I listened to it, I started crying....it's been a trying week so I might have been at an emotional low or something.  But the words made me think of my daughter and miss her even more after a recent visit we had with her.  I am posting the words to the song below...in hopes that she will read them and the tune of her life will be that much sweeter.  I love you, E.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance...