Ode To A Dancer.

My 24 year old is trying to find her way in the world....hard enough for the rest of us as adults; even harder when you are just starting.  I woke up this morning to this song playing on the radio.  As I listened to it, I started crying....it's been a trying week so I might have been at an emotional low or something.  But the words made me think of my daughter and miss her even more after a recent visit we had with her.  I am posting the words to the song below...in hopes that she will read them and the tune of her life will be that much sweeter.  I love you, E.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance...

11,315 days...more or less.

If you don't count the various leap years - it has been 11,315 days (as of today) since I gave birth to my first baby.  Somehow saying the days, rather than the years, puts it in better perspective for me....because it truly feels like a lifetime ago.  Can so much have really happened to me in 31 years?  Can I have done so much but accomplished so little?

I had such high hopes for my life....a long list of wants and don't wants...the "don't wants" sometimes won out.  But there's the funny thing about life; every single morning that you wake up and open your eyes - you get another chance at it!  You get to thank the heavens that you are alive and breathing and you get a "do-over" EVERY day.

So on this 31st birthday of my oldest daughter, I say to you:  Seize the day - seize the moments.  I am so proud to be your mother.  You are one of my "wants". I love you to the moon and back.

Fallin' for Colin

It has been a really really long 25 years coming.  I saw Colin Firth in a movie while I lived in Germany in the 80's.  Fell for him then...fell for him hard.  When I came back to the states, no one knew this young british kid I was referring to.  I ranted about his sex appeal to everyone and anyone who would listen to me.  Family laughed.  Friends laughed.  Fast forward ten or fifteen years later and suddenly, post-pride & prejudice and post-bridget jones's diary, everyone wanted a piece of this actor.  Girls came out of the woodwork to find the guy in the wet, white t-shirt.  No one was watching all the other dozens of really good parts he played.  They all wanted to meet Mr. Darcy. When all I wanted was to meet Mr. Firth.  Share a pint and a laugh with Colin the man...not the actor.

Fast forward to Santa Barbara Film Festival over Valentine's weekend.  Colin was there...I was there....and somehow the planets aligned in such a way as to bring us together for a brief moment in time.

And so I fell again. I fell hard.

A New Year....A New Plan

Sometimes the zookeeper has to take a break.  Sometimes the zookeeper closes down due to the nature of the job.  Sometimes the zookeeper's timecard tears or her keys to the cages don't work.  In other words, don't ask about absences in the zookeeper's log and the zookeeper won't let the monkeys throw their poop at you when you visit.  'nuff said.

I'm back and I'm way behind in updating you all with the zoo's new year's resolutions on our infamous kitchen chalkboard.  Here is what appeared when I cleared the Christmas Wish List and relisted the board as a place to put resolutions. Pretty tame for this zoo but yet the levity still lives on.  Enjoy.

I Resolve To:

1.    Laugh more (I always try to start the board off on a positive note; it just goes downhill from there!)
2.    Weigh less than a hippo
3.    Be nicer (my youngest daughter tries to swing the board back to the positive but it doesn't last long)
4.    Get straight A's (I'm more than positive this was NOT written by my teenage daughter!)
5.    "Will find nice sensible boyfriend" *B.J.D. (A quote from my 23 year old in search of Mr. Right)
6.    Park 1 car in garage (later changed to "2" cars by my ever hopeful and totally disillusioned hubby)
7.    Get some $$ from ****-go-braless (name has been purposely omitted in order to spare embarrassment, but you know who you are and we love you anyway!)
8.    Find real parents (written by teenage daughter who keeps hoping she was adopted!)
9.    Kill zombies, then Francis. (don't ask. cuz i don't know. idiot monkeys no doubt wrote this!)
10.  Meet Colin Firth (oh how they all laughed at this zookeeper when I wrote that!) *Check. Done.
11.  Plan PDB's big 50th Birthday Bash (oh, yes, PDB...mid-life is here at last!)

So I'm back....and the animals who live here have all come out of winter hibernation.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Humble Pie

Normally I want to write something humorous...something funny...something comical.  Not today.

I was dropping my daughter off at high school this morning and was listening to a disc jockey calling her sister, Pam, live on the air.  The disc jockey wanted to get a first person story from her sister who works with a ministry of some sort and helps orphans.  Pam (the sister) was working in Haiti at the time of the earthquake.

The disc jockey called her sister on the air and asked her to tell the story of what she was doing when the earthquake hit.  Pam said they were luckily inside a house that was well built but survived falling down.  She said it felt like it was an 8.0 compared to other California quakes she had witnessed.  It went on for what seemed forever and then it stopped.

She said it was as if the world had stopped and it was deathly quiet for many seconds after they stepped outside....and then she said it was as if someone told everyone on the island, at the same time, to scream.  She could hear one collective scream from the entire island.

Families knew people who could help were at this house and they started to bring injured people throughout the day.  One family brought a young girl that had a severe wound down to her exposed ankle bone.  Pam said the family had cut off a hunk of the girl's hair, burned it, and then stuffed it into the wound!  She did not know why they had done that - perhaps their only way to stop the flow of blood.  Pam had to pick the burned hair out of the cut and then try to sterilze her open wound with hydrogen peroxide.  She never wanted to see something like that again.

I was sickened.  I was saddened.  I was humbled.  If you do ANYTHING today, do something for someone else.  Whether it is for someone you know; or someone you don't know...give of yourself.  Don't complain for one day...one minute...nor one second.  There is always someone in the world who has less than you.

I am off to eat my own slice of humble pie.